Depth-oriented therapy for adult survivors of intimate partner violence, for family members, and for adult children of domestic violence homes.
Therapy for Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Violence
The clinical literature now uses the term intimate partner violence (IPV) for what most of us were raised to call domestic violence (DV). The terms are related; IPV is the more specific and clinically current term, focused on harm within intimate partnerships, while DV is the broader and culturally more familiar term. This page uses both. It is for adults who have lived through partner violence — recently, long ago, or are still living inside it — and for family members and adult children whose lives have been shaped by it.
During my clinical training, I worked at the Battered Women and Children's Shelter in San Antonio, where I provided counseling to children and youths affected by family violence. I also provided Batterer Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) classes at the Bexar County Jail, working with both male and female participants. This combined experience — with children growing up inside violence and with adults who have caused harm — informs my understanding of the dynamics from multiple sides. The work on this page is primarily with survivors and family members; however, my background with offender populations rounds out my clinical understanding of the overall dynamics.
Norman Klaunig, MA, LPC, NCC | Texas LPC #89856 | English and German
At a glance
Who this page is for: Adult survivors of intimate partner violence and domestic violence; family members affected; adult children of DV/IPV homes
What this work addresses: The trauma sequelae of IPV/DV; the complexity of leaving and the long aftermath; the impact on children and families; the religious and existential dimensions where present
Relevant clinical background: Counseling for children affected by family violence at the Battered Women and Children's Shelter (San Antonio); Batterer Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) classes at Bexar County Jail (with male and female participants)
Trauma-specific training: Certificate in Traumatic Stress Studies, Trauma Research Foundation (Bessel van der Kolk); EMDR (EMDRIA-approved)
If you are currently in danger: Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, text "START" to 88788, or call 911. Therapy is not a substitute for emergency safety resources.
Therapist: Norman Klaunig, MA, LPC, NCC
License: Texas LPC #89856
Office: 1528 W Contour Dr, Suite 102, San Antonio, TX 78212
Service area: Online statewide in Texas; in person in San Antonio
Languages: English, German
Insurance accepted: BCBS, Curative, United Healthcare (Optum), Medicare (traditional Medicare and BCBS Medicare Advantage plans)
What intimate partner violence is
Intimate partner violence (IPV) refers to harm — physical, sexual, psychological, financial, coercive — perpetrated by a current or former intimate partner. The forms of IPV that the research and clinical literature recognize include:
Physical violence — hitting, choking, pushing, restraining, weapons, sleep deprivation, denial of medical care, and other physical harm
Sexual violence — coerced or non-consensual sexual contact; reproductive coercion; sexual humiliation
Psychological and emotional abuse — verbal abuse, threats, intimidation, gaslighting, humiliation, isolation from family and friends, manipulation, monitoring, control of daily life
Coercive control — patterns of behavior designed to dominate and restrict a partner's autonomy, often without overt physical violence
Financial abuse — controlling access to money, sabotaging employment, accumulating debt in the partner's name, withholding resources
Stalking and post-separation harassment — continued surveillance, threats, or harassment after the relationship has ended
Digital and technology-facilitated abuse — surveillance through devices, social media harassment, non-consensual sharing of images, identity theft
IPV occurs across all demographics, including all genders, all sexual orientations, all races, all socioeconomic levels, and all educational backgrounds. It occurs in heterosexual, same-sex, and other intimate partnerships. The cultural picture of IPV often centers on one type of survivor; the clinical reality is broader.
What this work is for
Moving across cultures is more than a change of address. It is a reorganization of identity, relationships, language, profession, family ties, sense of belonging, and the felt experience of being in the world. The work of integrating it is long, often quiet, and frequently invisible to people who have not done it.
Therapy for immigration and cultural adjustment makes a place for the inner experience that the practical side of immigration — visas, paperwork, housing, work, schooling — does not have time to acknowledge. It is appropriate for people in any phase of the work: recent arrivals, long-settled immigrants who find old material surfacing now, returnees, expatriates, and second-generation children of immigrants navigating two cultures inside themselves.
Who this work is for
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You may have left the relationship recently. You may have left it years ago. You may still be inside it and trying to work out what comes next. You may be in a new relationship and finding that what happened in an earlier one is still operating. The work makes room for whatever phase you are in.
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Partners of survivors. Adult children of survivors. Siblings, parents, and close friends carrying the weight of someone they love having lived through this. Family members often have their own grief, anger, helplessness, and guilt around what they did or did not see, did or did not do, and what they continue to carry.
Building new friendships as an adult is hard. Building deep friendships as an adult in a new country is harder. It often takes longer than people expect — years rather than months — and many immigrants experience a long stretch of social thinness where they are functioning well in their new life but feel that they do not actually know anyone yet, not the way they used to know people. This is normal, it is one of the harder parts, and it has nothing to do with personal likeability. The therapy room is one of the places this loneliness can be acknowledged honestly, and where the slow work of building new connection can be supported.
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People who grew up inside intimate partner violence — whether or not they were directly targeted — carry distinct trauma. Witnessing IPV in childhood is itself an adverse childhood experience with documented long-term effects on relationships, identity, mood, and the body. My BWCS clinical work was with children affected by family violence; many of those dynamics show up later, in the adults those children became. This work is part of what I do most often.
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If you are reading this from inside an ongoing situation, please know: therapy can be part of getting safer, but it is not the same as a safety plan, and it is not a substitute for the specialized resources for people in active danger. The National Domestic Violence Hotline and your local shelter (in San Antonio, the Family Violence Prevention Services / Battered Women and Children's Shelter at 210-733-8810, 24-hour hotline) are equipped to help with safety planning in ways individual therapy is not. Therapy can be part of the work alongside those resources.
The trauma of intimate partner violence
IPV is relational trauma — perpetrated inside a relationship meant to provide safety and care, often by a person you also loved. This makes its clinical profile particular. Survivors frequently carry some combination of:
Post-traumatic stress symptoms (intrusion, avoidance, hyperarousal, negative mood shifts)
Complex trauma features (pervasive emotion-regulation difficulty, fragmented or harshly negative self-image, chronic relational difficulty)
Depression and anxiety, often layered
Dissociation and somatic symptoms
Difficulty trusting yourself, particularly your own perception of what happened
Difficulty in subsequent intimate relationships, often without being able to name why
Shame and self-blame, often persistent
A particular kind of grief over what was lost — including the relationship you thought you had, the life you imagined, the version of yourself the relationship cost
For some, religious or spiritual struggle — particularly when the relationship was inside a religious context. See [religious trauma therapy → /religious-trauma-therapy].
For the clinical distinction between PTSD and complex trauma, both of which often apply to IPV survivors, see [PTSD vs complex trauma → /ptsd-vs-complex-trauma].
The complexity of leaving — and what comes after
Leaving an abusive relationship is rarely the single decisive moment the outside world imagines. It is usually a long, recursive process complicated by:
Safety. The point of leaving is statistically the most dangerous moment in many IPV relationships. Specialized resources exist for safety planning.
Finances. Many survivors leave with less financial stability than they entered with, sometimes after years of financial abuse that limited their independence.
Children. Custody, visitation, and the ongoing involvement of an abusive partner as a co-parent can require sustained legal and clinical support.
Family and community. Some families and communities do not believe survivors, side with the abuser, or pressure for reconciliation. Religious communities can sometimes complicate leaving substantially. See [religious trauma therapy → /religious-trauma-therapy].
Psychological ties. Trauma bonding, the trauma response itself, and the way coercive control reshapes a person's perception over time can make leaving feel impossible long before it is impossible.
Hope. Many abusive relationships include real love, real good times, and real moments where the abuser is the person the survivor fell in love with. The hope that the cycle will not repeat is part of what keeps people in. It is not naive; it is human.
After leaving, the work often includes the long aftermath: the trauma residues in the body and the relationships that follow, the grief over what was lost, the reconstruction of an identity that had been steadily reshaped, the slow work of trusting your own perception again, and — for some — the gradual recognition that the worst is over.
Children of intimate partner violence
Children who grow up inside IPV — whether or not they are directly targeted — are affected in lasting ways. The research literature now clearly recognizes witnessing IPV as a form of childhood trauma with effects on attachment, emotion regulation, self-perception, and the body that can persist into adulthood. Common adult patterns in those who grew up inside IPV include:
Hypervigilance to relational conflict, often without recognizing where it came from
Difficulty trusting one's own perception of relationships
A pull toward relationship patterns that echo what was modeled, even when actively resisted
Loyalty conflicts between parents that remain unresolved into adulthood
Particular complexity around the parent who did the harming and the parent who was harmed
Anxiety and depression that often date back further than the person realizes
My BWCS clinical work was with children navigating these dynamics in real time. The adults that those children become carry the same dynamics, in different forms. This is work I do regularly, and it deserves its own clinical attention rather than being folded into general trauma work.
A word on people who have caused harm
My Batterer Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) work at the Bexar County Jail brought me into substantial contact with adults who have caused harm in their relationships. This experience informs my understanding of IPV dynamics — including what makes change possible, what does not, and what BIPP-style group work is and is not designed to do.
I do not currently offer BIPP classes or court-mandated offender programming. That work is its own specialty with its own framework, typically group-based, often court-supervised, and requires specific certification and infrastructure that I do not currently provide.
I do sometimes work individually with adults who recognize that they have caused harm in past or current relationships and want to take responsibility for it as part of broader personal work. This is different from BIPP work. It is appropriate for people who are not currently engaged in violence, who genuinely want to take responsibility, and who are not seeking therapy as a strategy to avoid accountability or to manage an active situation. Where the situation involves ongoing safety concerns for any partner or child, BIPP-style and specialized programs are the appropriate framework, and I will say so.
How this work proceeds
The clinical work follows the principles of good trauma-informed care:
Safety and pacing. Particularly for survivors, the early work is about stabilization, resourcing, and the relational safety that has to be established before trauma processing is appropriate.
Trauma processing where indicated. EMDR, Written Exposure, parts work, and somatic regulation are core tools. We pace the trauma processing to what your nervous system can metabolize, and we do not push past what is bearable.
The relational layer. IPV is relational trauma, and the therapy relationship itself is part of what changes the pattern. Trust is rebuilt slowly and honestly.
The identity and meaning layer. Long-term IPV reshapes self-perception substantially. Some of the deepest work is the reconstruction of an identity that has more of you in it.
Specific attention to children, family systems, and ongoing co-parenting where relevant.
Religious and spiritual layers where the relationship was inside a religious context, including the particular complexity of religious communities and IPV. See [religious trauma therapy → /religious-trauma-therapy].
Approaches I draw from in this work
Trauma-informed care
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) — EMDRIA-approved training
Written Exposure Therapy (WET)
IFS-inspired parts work
Polyvagal-informed somatic and breath work
Grief work for the losses inside IPV
Existential and meaning-focused approaches
Spiritually integrated work where indicated
Psychoeducation about IPV dynamics, trauma bonding, coercive control, and the long aftermath
Get in touch
Ready when you are
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
[Trauma therapy → /trauma-therapy] | [PTSD vs complex trauma → /ptsd-vs-complex-trauma] | [Grief counseling → /grief-counseling] | [Get in touch → /contact]
Click this link to choose a day and time for a free, confidential consultation or schedule a session.
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation for life transitions therapy online across Texas or in person in San Antonio.
FAQs
Frequently asked questions
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Yes. One of the most common features of IPV is uncertainty about whether what happened was "bad enough" to name. Coercive control, psychological abuse, and patterns of subtle harm can do as much lasting damage as overt physical violence, and survivors of non-physical IPV often struggle even more to take their experience seriously. The consultation is a place to talk through what your relationship actually looked like and whether the kind of work I do would fit. There is no requirement that you arrive certain.
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Sometimes, with caveats. Therapy with someone still inside an active IPV situation involves specific clinical and safety considerations, including what is and is not appropriate to address while the relationship is ongoing, how the therapy itself can stay private if necessary, and how to coordinate with the specialized resources (the National Domestic Violence Hotline, your local shelter) that are designed for safety planning. We can discuss this in the consultation. The most important thing is your safety; therapy is one piece of a larger picture.
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No. The same principle that applies to other trauma work applies here: effective treatment does not require detailed retelling of what happened. EMDR and Written Exposure can process trauma material in ways that do not require you to narrate it to me in full. You set the pace, and you decide what you are ready to touch. What matters is that the grip of the memory changes, not that you describe every detail.
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There is no single right answer. Some clients strongly prefer cultural familiarity; others prefer a therapist who is outside the original cultural context and can offer perspective. What matters more than exact cultural match is the therapist's willingness to take the cross-cultural material seriously, to know the territory, and to not require you to translate your inner experience into language the therapist is comfortable with. A consultation can help you assess fit.
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Yes, and many people do not recognize the long shadow of this until well into adulthood. Witnessing IPV in childhood is a documented form of childhood trauma with lasting effects on attachment, relational patterns, emotion regulation, and the body. The work can include trauma processing for specific memories, broader work on relational patterns that formed under those conditions, and the often unresolved loyalty conflicts around the parent who did the harming and the parent who was harmed.
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This depends on the specifics, and I will be direct about what fits. If the situation is ongoing — if there is current violence or active coercive control — the appropriate framework is BIPP-style work and specialized programs, not individual therapy with me, and I will refer you. If the situation is past, you are not currently engaged in violence, and you genuinely want to take responsibility for what you did as part of broader personal work, individual therapy may be appropriate. The consultation is where we determine which path serves the situation honestly.
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It depends on what you are carrying, how recent the events were, whether you are still in the situation, and whether the trauma is layered onto earlier developmental material. Discrete-event work for a single specific incident can sometimes resolve in a relatively short course of EMDR or Written Exposure. The broader work of recovering from long-term IPV — particularly when complex trauma features are present — generally takes longer, often measured in years. I do not promise a number. I do promise that we will check in honestly about whether the work is moving and what it is asking for next.
For fees, insurance, telehealth setup, and in-person availability, see the FAQs.
Further reading
Resources for survivors, family members, and people supporting someone who has lived through intimate partner violence. The first three are operational helplines.
Credible academic and professional sources on immigrant mental health and cross-cultural psychology.
National Domestic Violence Hotline (The Hotline).https://www.thehotline.org/ — For survivors: 24/7 hotline, safety planning, and survivor resources. Call 1-800-799-7233 or text "START" to 88788.
Family Violence Prevention Services / Battered Women and Children's Shelter (San Antonio).https://www.fvps.org/ — For local survivors and families: 24-hour hotline 210-733-8810; the San Antonio shelter where I worked during clinical training.
loveisrespect.https://www.loveisrespect.org/ — For younger people and dating-abuse survivors: free, confidential support by chat, call (1-866-331-9474), or text ("LOVEIS" to 22522); project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
StrongHearts Native Helpline.https://strongheartshelpline.org/ — For Native and Indigenous survivors: culturally appropriate, anonymous, confidential, and free domestic and sexual violence helpline (1-844-7NATIVE).
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).https://ncadv.org/ — For survivors and advocates: national advocacy and education organization on intimate partner violence.
Futures Without Violence.https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/ — For survivors, families, and clinicians: long-standing nonprofit focused on ending violence against women, children, and families.
National Child Traumatic Stress Network — Children Exposed to IPV.https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/intimate-partner-violence — For families and clinicians: research-informed resources on the long-term effects of childhood exposure to IPV.
move from pain to purpose
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move from pain to purpose —